


Save Me from the Dark (Rewrite)

by Evilsilence



Series: Save Me from the Dark [2]
Category: Emergency! (TV 1972)
Genre: 1970s, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:41:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29527245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Evilsilence/pseuds/Evilsilence
Summary: Original fic can be found on profile!Struggling with depression, Scarlett Black ends up in the hospital after trying to kill herself. What does life hold for her now that everything she knows was ripped from her? WARNING: Suicide, self-harm, and other mature and potentially triggering themes.
Series: Save Me from the Dark [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2169204
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Scarlett Black gazed wistfully out the window, taking in the relatively boring cityscape. It wasn't much to look at, to be honest, just a bunch of buildings, arrayed sporadically, as if no cohesive thought was put into how they were placed. Short, tall, wide, long, it didn't seem to matter, as long as the people who used those buildings had access to them. Letting out a sigh, and begrudgingly dragging her gaze away from a boring sight that was much better than the one she was turning to, Scarlett looked toward her professor. He was a small man, probably only five feet, five inches in height, and clearly of Chinese descent. Underneath his short black hair, Professor Lee had on a pair of glasses upon his face, or "Dad glasses" as Scarlett thought of them.

"Well, that's all for discussion today, next session we will be focusing on chapter two, so I needn't have to remind you to make sure you do your chapter questions on the online site. Those account for 60% of your grade. Remember, you are in college now, just because this is sociology 101 doesn't mean you get to slack off."

Professor's spiel finished, the group of young adults seated before him quickly grabbed their stuff, and their bags, and left the room. Scarlett was among the middle of the group, as some stragglers hung around to ask the professor some questions. Stepping out into the hallway, a black messenger bag with the logo of a rock band she liked on her arm, she proceeded to walk where the elevator was.

As she stood once again with a small group of her fellow classmates, she pulled out her phone to text her boyfriend, Kyle, that her course had ended. She also asked if he wanted her to come over to spend the remainder of the day together. As the elevator doors opened, she moved inside, not even bothering to look up from her phone as she proceeded to text her friend Abby about being done with classes, and if she wanted to hang out with Scarlett and her boyfriend. Scarlett figured worst case they could even just go to the bar together.

Her post class texts achieved, Scarlett slipped her phone back in her bag, and glanced at the people in the elevator with her, two girls from her class, and some guy she didn't know. While she didn't know the guy, she inwardly sighed as she thought about how good the two girls must have it, having seen them around campus a bit. They were part of the in crowd, something that Scarlett had thought she was done with dealing with once she left high school, and it was hard not to miss the pair, as they were always keen to make people aware of their presence.

Thankfully, unlike high school, cliques didn't seem nearly as in your face, so Scarlett had a moderate degree of ability to avoid them. But now being in the elevator with them, it was hard not to look at their lives with a moderate degree of envy due to how good their lives seemed, while hers clearly sucked. Honestly, if not for Abby, and Kyle, Scarlett didn't know how she would make it through the day.

Even as much as her life sucked, Scarlett was immensely thankful that she had Kyle. Kyle was an aspiring musician, whose YouTube channel was slowly growing in popularity, and Scarlett had no doubt that he'd make it big one day. His fan base already loved him, and not just for his music.

Kyle was hot, maybe not by the 'in' crowd's standards, but definitely by his fan base. And her. He was the epitome of edgy, punk rock aesthetic, although often more 'emo' in style, and everyone ate it up. What was better than a hot punk rock guy? A punk rock guy who was all hers, and who she was proud to call hers.

They had been dating for over a year so far, and Scarlett knew this was the real deal. This was that great, soul mate kind of love everyone spoke about. The kind of love that made people post cheesy love quotes on social media. The kind of love that people would die for. And she finally had it. After years of being in short, unsuccessful relationships she finally had it.

Scarlett couldn't help but smile to herself as butterflies fluttered in her stomach as she thought of Kyle. Just thinking of him had that effect on her, and in the past, she'd think that was lame and stupid, but this was real. As the elevator finally reached the ground floor, Scarlett took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Being in the same confined space as the 'cool' crowd always made her anxious, although they never noticed her. To them, she was just part of the background. Like a potted plant or old, boring artwork hanging on a wall. She just didn't exist to them.

She kept an eye on her phone as she walked to her car and threw her bag into the backseat. Kyle was taking forever to reply, but that wasn't uncommon, he was probably filming another YouTube video or maybe even recording a song for his upcoming YouTube album. Abby, however, always seemed to have her phone in hand and yet no response from her, either.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, a notification lit up Scarlett's screen. It was Kyle. The butterflies immediately took flight again, but just as quickly came crashing down, as she read the text. A void of despair slowly formed in her stomach, and she fought with her emotions. Kyle was breaking up with her.


	2. Chapter 2

Scarlett stared at it, willing the text to not say what it clearly did, blinking back the tears that were rapidly forming against her will. She didn't understand, why would Kyle do this? Things had been going so well, or at least she thought they had. They'd never even had an argument. And they'd been fine this morning, texting each other about their plans after her class later. What could've happened between then and now?

In almost a daze, Scarlett typed out a response, it wasn't much, just a simple why, but it was all she could manage. She really couldn't understand it, there was no reason he should want to break up. Looking at her phone, she just stared at it for what felt forever, before, realizing he wasn't going to respond, and sending another. This time it was asking him to please not leave her, that whatever it was that he had an issue with she would change it if he just told her what it was. After all, she loved him, so she'd do whatever to make it right.

Minutes passed, and once again, there was no response. Anger filling her, she decided that she was going to go over and demand an answer, not letting him get away without giving her a reason. After messaging Abby to tell her how Kyle dumped her over text for no reason, she finally put her phone down, and started to drive over. Once she pulled up to the apartment complex that he lived at, she parked the car at a spot across from his building, not far from his own, and walked up the outside set of stairs to the third floor and knocked loudly on his door. Looking at her phone while she waited, she was once again surprised by the fact that Abby still hadn't messaged her, that being beyond uncharacteristic of her friend. Abby might be a self-proclaimed "big titty goth chick", and give off the stereotype of not caring... but she had always made time for Scarlett, even when at her busiest.

Once again slamming on the door, she yelled for Kyle to answer, too annoyed to care that his neighbors were probably unhappy with the noise. It was finally after what felt like forever of waiting that she got fed up, and sat on the stairs by his apartment. She planned to just wait there until he finally left the apartment, just sitting in silence as the anger and confusion circled around inside the pit of her stomach, where only earlier the butterflies had been.

It was in this silence that she finally heard it, the sounds of a man and a woman in the middle of intercourse, the noise probably escaping out an open window. It wasn't uncommon for people at Kyle's complex to leave their windows open at night. After all, Scarlett's own experience at Kyle's place showed how hot it could get at times. But it wasn't the sounds of intercourse that made Scarlett's emotions crash into a pit of despair. As the noises grew louder, the lovemaking probably intensifying, Scarlett could begin to make out the familiarity of the moans of passion, for she knew the voices they belonged to. The two people she heard having sex, literally in the apartment next to her, were Abby and Kyle. Her bf, the love of her life, was fucking her best friend.

For a moment Scarlett sat stunned, not wanting to believe what was happening. There was no way her boyfriend could be cheating on her with her best friend. Except the passionate sounds of their continued lovemaking told otherwise.

How could they do this? She'd trusted them, loved them... How could they? A thought rose to her mind before she could push it down. How long had this been going on for?

Suddenly, Scarlett felt stupid. All those evenings where Kyle had been too busy filming videos for YouTube, and all those nights Abby had been busy painting... They had been fucking. From her quick calculations, this had been going on since after they'd just started dating, she'd just never connected the dots.

Sickened by the unceasing noises and her own revelation, she ran back to her car. As Scarlett picked up her phone, she sobbed as she realized she had absolutely nobody in the entire world who she could text to talk about this with. Everyone else had people they could lean on during times of crisis, but of course her only friend had to be in the midst of a passionate fuck with her boyfriend right now.

It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. Why was this happening to her? It was bad enough Kyle had dumped her but this... This was so much worse. It was so unbelievably worse that there was still a part of her that just couldn't wrap her mind around it.

Where had she gone wrong with them? What was wrong with her to make Kyle not want her and to choose fucking her best friend over her? And what had she done to Abby to deserve this?

Scarlett's mind was reeling and she didn't know what to do, let alone what to think. Shaking, she decided to drive home, as maybe allowing herself to fully break down in the comfort of her own room would help. Surprising even herself, she made the drive home without any issue, even despite the tears blocking out most of her vision. Scarlett was almost disappointed. Even dying sounded better than what she was currently going through.

As she entered her room, she immediately went to her secret package of razor blades hidden in a box in her closet. Pressing one against her skin, the sensation was welcoming, but it wasn't enough.

Scarlett choked back a sob as she pressed down harder and drew the blade down her arms, leaving crimson visual representations of her pain. She hadn't done this in a while, she'd been far too happy with Kyle to even consider it. Now she knew she not only needed this pain, she also deserved it.

It was her fault they'd betrayed her. She'd fucked everything up again, like she always did. She pressed down deeper, not caring if she hit something important. After a couple more minutes she realized even this wasn't helping to dull the pain as it had in the past, and if she truly wanted to die, this wasn't going to work.

Scarlett went to her desk and pulled out some vodka from one of the drawers. Then reaching under her mattress, she pulled out a bag of pills. Kyle had gotten them for them to share whenever he came over, and although she didn't know what exactly they were, she was hopeful they'd be enough to kill her.

Did she really want to die? Was this the fix for her shitty life? Scarlett wasn't even surprised when she realized her answer.


	3. Chapter 3

Scarlett took out the pills and without any hesitation, put them in her mouth, quickly downing some of the vodka. The alcohol went down with the normal burn, something Kyle would joke as putting a pep in her step. The thought forced her to fight breaking down further as she slowly sank to the floor, alcohol in hand.

She had no idea how long it would take for the pills to kick in, or what would happen. So, she just sat there crying, until before too long the bottle was empty. Looking down at it Scarlett continued to cry, thinking that not only had she lost her boyfriend and been betrayed by her best friend, but that apparently, she couldn't even kill herself right. That even with everything, she was once again a failure, and maybe her continued ability to fail was why everything seemed to always go to such shit.

Lifting the bottle, she tossed it against the wall, the glass shattering instantly, spraying across the room, but Scarlett didn't care. All she wanted was to no longer be alive, and she couldn't even have that. It was only then that she started to feel it, a sheering pain in her chest where her heart was, as the pills had finally kicked in. Her heart felt like it was going to beat out of her chest, the pain coursing through her as if the very organ was ripping free of all the veins and tissues connecting it where it was. The pain was unbearable. Sinking to the ground, eventually Scarlett was laying on the floor. Places of her body pressed into the shards of glass, as they began to cut into her arms and legs. It hurt, it hurt so badly... but at the same time, she couldn't help but feel a little satisfaction. Satisfaction that at least her final act on the world hadn't been a failure. As her vision started to go black, she was certain she was dying.

"Get her to room one," A man's voice said, from what sounded light years away.

"Who found her, and what was she OD'ing from?" Another voice asked, just as distant as the first.

"We don't know, the roommate found her and has no idea what she took, all we know is she took it with vodka."

"Alright, we will see what we can do, but we have to hurry, she's already almost gone."

No, go away, leave me alone, just let me die in peace, Scarlett thought, trying to shoo away the voices of what had to be medical people trying to save her. Didn't they know she had nothing to live for, that she wanted this? So why wouldn't they just let her? They wouldn't understand, they probably all were happy. I mean, they were doctors, made a lot of money, and probably had families that loved them, not friends who fucked their boyfriend behind their backs. They weren't allowed to take this from her. As she started to once again fade from consciousness, she swore she heard the sound of flatlining, as she inwardly smiled realizing they couldn't rob her of what she had wanted.

She didn't know how much time had passed. Scarlett slowly became aware of voices around her, maybe speaking to her, but they all seemed a million miles away. Why couldn't they see that she just wanted to be left alone to die? Why was that so hard for anyone to understand?

Scarlett willed herself to slip back away from the voices and from the pain, preferring the quiet blankness of unconsciousness to anything wakefulness had to offer her. Maybe if she stayed in the sweet embrace of nothingness, she'd finally get her wish of non-existence. Maybe if Scarlett wanted to die badly enough, she could will her body to comply with her mind's wishes. That kind of thing was possible, right?

Still, as she let her mind wander, a part of her wondered if Abby and Kyle would even care about what she'd done. Or rather, tried to do, considering Scarlett knew she obviously hadn't succeeded in accomplishing what she had desired. Would they be upset they'd clearly pushed her to her breaking point, or would they continue on with their lives, probably continuing to fuck each other like none of it mattered?

The fact she figured she knew the answer made Scarlett feel sick. They obviously didn't care about her, so why would her failed attempt at suicide matter to them? If anything, they'd probably just use it as something to hang over her head for the rest of her life, as if she'd ever speak to either one of them again after their betrayal. Scarlett could forgive a lot of things, but there was no way she could ever forgive this.

Scarlett finally opened her eyes and let her eyes adjust to the light in the room, finally accepting that her attempt to die had failed. As the depression of knowing she couldn't even kill herself properly washed over her, she slowly looked around the room. Whoever the voices had belonged to were gone, and Scarlett was left alone in a relatively simple hospital room.

A slight confusion passed through her mind as she realized she didn't seem to be in the psych ward, as there were clearly too many things in this room that could be viewed as a danger to someone labeled suicidal. Even the IV in her arm could potentially be used to try to kill herself again, or one of the many other wires she had connected to her. Maybe they hadn't realized she'd tried to kill herself, Scarlett reasoned. Maybe they'd just labeled her as a druggy who accidentally took too much in search of their blissful high. She knew it might just be wishful thinking, but the thought that maybe they didn't know what she'd truly tried to do was slightly comforting. A part of her would rather be labeled a druggy than a failure at suicide, however silly that was.

Scarlett wondered how long it would be before someone showed back up to check on her. Continuing to hope they thought of her as nothing more than a druggy, she knew that she'd have to mentally prepare herself for a confrontation, if even just over drugs. It honestly wasn't something she was excited for, not when she didn't even wish to be alive right now. Why couldn't she have just died like she wanted?


	4. Chapter 4

After a while, what felt an eternity for the young woman who didn't wish to spend another second alive, the door finally opened. As a female nurse entered, Scarlett instantly decided to look away and at a wall.

"Oh, you're awake. That's good, I'll let the doctor know so he can come see you."

Scarlett continued to look at the wall as she heard the nurse move towards her bed, probably to mess with whatever they had to record when supervising her. She listened until the nurse left. Once she was gone, Scarlett decided to redirect her attention from the incredibly uninteresting wall, and breathe out a sigh of relief that she had at least managed to avoid any actual dialogue.

Pulling the covers of the hospital bed over her head, she just wanted to block out the world. She wished she could just grab the pillow under her head and suffocate herself. But that wasn't possible. It's why she had gone for the drugs in the first place. All those stupid things they show in the movies and TV shows just don't work, as the scars on her arms would amply prove from her cutting habits. Those shows never really understood that people like her cut just to feel something beyond the crippling depression, even if that something is pain. No, if she wanted to end her life, even now, she'd probably need something better.

She wondered what her family would say about her attempt. Her step father probably wouldn't care, and if anything, be more upset that she failed than if she lived. Her mom, meanwhile, would probably cry and blame herself as though she were the cause of everything, while treating her like crap for it. She was always a drama queen, but only for her sake. Like her step father, her mom would probably be more upset over the lack of actual death. People give a lot of sympathy when your daughter kills herself, Scarlett told herself, knowing the sympathy was all her mom wanted.

The only one who would probably actually care was her little sister, who was only ten, but no matter how much Emi would be affected, she also would never understand the suffering that was her older sister's life. At least, not until Emi was older, and even then, Scarlett doubted her little sister would be a failure like her. Even still, Scarlett wished she didn't have to see her little sister's face when she found out. Once again, she wished she had died and she could have just become nothing, or even a ghost and go haunt all the people who hurt her, like Kyle and Abby.

Suddenly, she heard the door open. Though from her place under the covers, she couldn't see anything, nor did she care to try. She just wanted to continue to pretend nothing existed. After all, it's not like it mattered.

"Hi there," A man's voice said, walking towards where she lay. "I see you have met our hospital blankets."

It sounded to Scarlett like he was standing over her. He didn't seem to make any attempt to force her to look at him, however, though not like she would have to begin with.

"Would you mind talking to me a bit? I just would like to understand." He continued, though once again, it seemed he didn't feel like trying to force her. Really though, Scarlett had no real desire to talk to him. All she really wanted was to be dead, and unless he could give her that, which he wouldn't, she didn't want to speak with him. As time seemed to stretch on, he just seemed to stand there, before finally he cleared his throat.

"I see. Well, if you won't talk to me, maybe you will speak with Dixie. I'm sure you'll like her," He said, before apparently voicing to another person. "Dix, you wouldn't mind speaking to her, would you?"

"Of course, I have nothing but time to give." The female nurse from earlier said. Scarlett knew the woman named Dixie was just trying to make her feel more comfortable though, and was actually busy. "You don't mind if I sit down here, do you? Been busy all day."

"I'll leave you two to it then, and will be here if you need me, miss." The doctor said, before moving towards the door, and leaving Scarlett alone with the nurse.

"Hi there, my name is Nurse McCall but you can call me Dixie," Dixie said to her. "What's your name?"

Scarlett frowned under her covers but said nothing. The faster the nurse gave up on trying to speak to her, the better.

"You hungry? Could ask for some lunch to be delivered for you. Personally, I would like to go with Doctor Brackett somewhere, but last time we did that, we had to help a woman give birth in a back room." Dixie said, hoping that the topic of food would get the young woman to speak with her. After all, who didn't like food? If nothing else, maybe the topic of how they ended up helping a woman give birth would catch her interest. Except she didn't seem to get much of any response, as Scarlett continued to hide out under the covers.

"Well, let me know if you change your mind," Dixie responded, after it became clear that Scarlett wasn't going to respond to that. "Do you have any family? We need to get a hold of an emergency contact for you. Since... well..."

"Since I overdosed," Scarlett voiced out from the safety of the covers, angrily, though more at herself for failing than Dixie. Deciding it best to just answer these medical questions, in the hope it would make her go away, Scarlett did. "There's no one, not like it matters."

"I see. Well, if you can think of anyone, let us know," Dixie said, not really sure what to say, since it didn't seem like she was going to be able to get much from the girl. "Well, if you aren't up to talking that much yet, I'll get back to work. But if you need to talk to anyone, just let me know. I'm good at listening."

Scarlett listened as she heard Dixie get up and walk back to the door. Though once Dixie opened it, she lingered there a bit before leaving. Scarlett imagined the woman probably had looked back at her or something wishing she could say something to pull Scarlett from under her blankets and get her to talk. As she pulled the covers closer, she willed herself to go back to sleep and hopefully never wake up.


	5. Chapter 5

All too soon Scarlett woke, once again disappointed that she hadn’t managed to die yet. Every time she dreamed, she saw Kyle. Not only did she just see him, they were always together and as happy as they had been prior to this. It was as if her mind was teasing her with the life she could’ve, and should’ve, had with him.

Despite how hurt, and not to mention downright pissed she was at him, a part of her still longed to be with him. The very person who had hurt her the most was the only person who she wanted to comfort her, and the only person who she knew could fix this. Only deep down, Scarlett knew he didn’t care or he wouldn’t have cheated to begin with. 

On the other hand, she was slightly relieved that Kyle nor Abby hadn’t come to visit her. She knew she couldn’t forgive either of them, and there was no coming back from the damage they had caused to their relationships. Even if she desperately craved Kyle’s comfort and simple presence, Scarlett would never be able to let him back in and trust him ever again. The paranoia of never knowing if he was going to cheat again would be maddening, and she couldn’t bear that constantly eating at her soul.

Wanting to push the thoughts of Kyle away for the moment, she studied the room again. As she’d noticed before, it was a very simple hospital room but most hospital rooms were simple. There was just something about this one that made it seem more simple than normal, but Scarlett couldn’t quite place what it was. She shrugged it off, it could’ve been worse; the other bed in her room could’ve been occupied, and she was definitely in no mood to have a roommate.

Scarlett caught sight of a TV mounted on the wall and was momentarily glad that at least there was some source of entertainment in this room. However, quickly her slight happiness evaporated as she realized how ancient the TV appeared to be. It was like this room hadn’t been updated in at least 30 years, which was incredibly strange to her. The hospital that Scarlett was familiar with had flat screen TVs, and she wondered what hospital she had been taken to. Obviously it wasn’t the one she was used to. Maybe she had been taken to some podunk hospital that truly hadn’t been updated in many decades. It made no sense why she would’ve been brought to one, but maybe there was a good reason for it.

Locating the remote on the table next to her, Scarlett decided that maybe it didn’t matter. Maybe the hospital she was familiar with was full or something. Regardless, she was stuck here against her will and she was going to make the most of it. She frowned as she flipped through the channels and realized there were hardly any to choose from. To make matters worse, none of the channels the hospital had even anything the slightest bit entertaining, it was all daytime TV, such as various soaps and boring shows that she imagined her grandparents most likely watched to keep busy during the day. 

Giving up, Scarlett shut off the TV and sighed. She wished she had her cellphone. She’d, at least, have something to do then, for even arguing with trolls on Twitter would be better than this boring hell she found herself in. Her heart unexpectedly twisted at the sudden thought of having to see Kyle’s recent social media posts, as surely he’d announced their breakup by now. Not to mention, her failed suicide attempt. Scarlett felt sick at the thought that Kyle was probably on Facebook laughing and making fun of her attempt. He was probably saying that it had just been for attention and a desperate attempt to get him to stay with her. Hell, he was probably recording a video for YouTube painting her in a similar light for his fanbase and making himself look like he did nothing wrong. Nobody would ever look at her the same again, they’d all think she was just some pathetic girl who was desperate for attention. Nobody would ever believe that she’d truly wanted to die, once Kyle finished spreading his fake narrative. Filled with renewed depression, Scarlett slipped back under her covers and didn’t move for the rest of the day.

* * *

Scarlett’s dreams were once again filled with a series of what ifs. Kyle and Scarlett sitting at the table cheerfully smiling, as he had just asked her to marry him. The pair announcing it to parents that actually cared about the young woman. A friend, who unlike in reality, was cheerful for the news, and never once thought of hurting her with her boyfriend, now fiancé. So, it was no surprise, when she woke up, just as depressed as she was when she went to sleep.

Sighing, she wished she could just go back to sleep and never wake up. Or at the least, live in a state of constantly dreaming so she didn’t have to face the cruel lonely reality of her existence. Looking over at the window, since nothing else in the room interested her at the moment. She wished she could just go back to when everything felt so much simpler, reminded of how before everything, she had just been in her college class staring out at the city from a similar window.

“Awake again, I see.” A familiar male voice said, surprising Scarlett since she hadn’t heard him enter. She was slightly upset that she couldn’t retreat back into the safety of the covers, and not to mention, that she may be even more pressed into talking to the doctor.

Begrudgingly she turned to him, taking in the good-looking middle aged man in a lab coat with a disgustingly colorful tie, and a hairstyle that looked as dated as the TVs on the wall. Scarlett sighed internally as she felt once again she had been dragged massively out to the boonies, and wished she had just been taken to her typical hospital. He walked toward her bed and stood beside it, as if waiting for her to say something. However when it became clear she once again wasn’t going to talk, he continued.

“I’ll have Dixie stop by later to see if you want to talk yet, but seeing how you aren’t hiding under the covers today, I can update you on your case. Namely, we found a strange chemical in your lab results, and to ensure there’s no further complications, we will likely need to hold you for a few days. If you have any questions, just ask for Nurse McCall, or myself, Dr. Brackett.”

With that, he smiled at her and left.


	6. Chapter 6

Great, Scarlett thought to herself, the drugs Kyle had left had been spliced with something, and now she was stuck there longer. Bad enough she hadn’t managed to kill herself, but now she was also stuck in this shitty hospital. She could only imagine how amusing everyone would find it. How much of a laughing stock she would be, and how even her college classmates would likely know her as the loser who spent days in the boonies hospital after trying to kill herself. How shitty could her life continue to get? Every time she felt it had gotten as bad as it could be, something always happened that reminded her that it could get much, much worse. 

Everyone always liked to say that things eventually got better. That eventually life would turn around. That in ten or so years from now she'd be thankful she was alive, especially if she'd finally found her soulmate and started a family. But Scarlett doubted that. 

The only people who said that were the ones who had perfect lives, with perfect husbands, and perfect children. She'd never have what those people had, and Scarlett wasn't naive enough to be deluded into thinking she ever could. After all, Kyle was her soulmate and he hadn't wanted her, so what were the chances she'd ever come to be grateful for her failure? 

She absent-mindedly picked at the bandages on her arms, feeling the pain that even slight pressure on the wounds underneath brought. Shooting a cautionary glance towards the door, Scarlett quickly unwound the bandages on her left arm to survey the damage she'd caused to herself. The sight before her took her breath away. 

Underneath the wrappings lay several long gnarly cuts that had been neatly sutured back together. Never before had she cut so deeply, especially not deeply enough to warrant stitches, and what she saw scared her. Scarlett hoped they didn't scar too horribly as she rewrapped the bandages. It was bad enough she'd failed to kill herself; she didn't need to wear the constant reminder on her arms forever too.

Glancing at the door once more, Scarlett gently pressed on the wound, slowing adding more pressure. The pain sent shockwaves shooting up her arm, but there was a familiar comfort to it. Since she obviously couldn't continue cutting in the hospital, this would have to do for the time being. 

A noise suddenly startled her, making her realize she'd been dozing. Looking towards the source, she found the same blonde nurse from before. 

"Sorry to wake you," Dixie said. "I was told you were doing better. You certainly look better or I assume you do, since you were hiding under the covers last time I saw you." 

Scarlett glared at her, fidgeting with her bandage again. She still wasn't in the mood to talk to the nurse, nor did she care to hear her lame attempts at lightening the mood. 

"You shouldn't keep messing with that, those cuts will never heal properly."

"It doesn't matter." Scarlett found herself saying. 

"It does if you don't want them to scar too badly," Dixie smiled kindly. "A nice-looking young lady such as yourself doesn't deserve that."

Even though Scarlett knew Dixie was just being nice to get information out of her, she couldn't deny that her comment had touched her a little. It was the first actual compliment she could remember receiving in quite a while, especially as Kyle hadn't been big on compliments or flattery. Or being a decent person. 

“I’m surprised you haven’t left the room yet,” Dixie added, trying to change the subject, not wanting to focus too heavily on the cuts. “I’d be going nuts in here if I was stuck here… well, to be fair, I was going nuts the last time I was a patient. Plus Dr. Early and Dr. Brackett can’t seem to do anything without me around to help keep the other nurses organized.”

Scarlett didn’t care too much about Dixie’s story, though she did catch that Dixie seemed to be in some sort of higher position based on that last part. A fact that made her wonder if the nurse probably should be doing more important things than sitting there trying to talk to her. For a brief instant, probably because of the compliment, Scarlett wondered if the woman actually may care. However, it wasn’t long before her natural pessimism and apathy returned. There was no way that Dixie actually cared. It was just her job. Though a small part of Scarlett wondered if Dixie meant it, even if she wouldn’t admit it. After waiting a bit to see if Scarlett would finally say anything, Dixie finally spoke again.

“Well, if you still don’t want to talk I won’t force you, but you should at least consider it. Talking about things might help… At the very least maybe consider getting out of bed, it might help raise your spirits a little.”

With that she stood up, and walked to the door. Once she opened it, she stopped and turned, speaking one final time.

“Seriously you should try to get out of the room. Walk a little. It might just do you some good to get some air. Remember too, if you ever want to talk just ask for me. Short of an emergency, I’m always available.”

With that, she walked through the door, leaving Scarlett once again alone in the room. Sighing, Scarlett kind of felt bad wasting Dixie’s time. Even if she only cared because of her job, the woman didn’t seem like a bad person. The nurse deserved to spend her time on more important things than someone who should have been dead. 

Once again, Scarlett reached toward her scars, trying to feel the comforting pain. It was only at the last second that she pulled away from them; Dixie’s words about scarring came back to her mind. Cursing herself for being unable to even get the solace of her normal pain, Scarlett buried her head under her pillow and wished she could just suffocate herself. In lieu of that though, she decided to do the only thing she could and get more sleep. Though as Scarlett began to fall asleep she couldn’t help but think that for a brief moment, when Dixie had the door open, she had seen a glimpse of something that confused her. Namely, as her mind started to fade into slumber, Scarlett thought she saw a young woman in clothes from the 70s walking in the hallway. As she succumbed to sleep, Scarlett’s last thought was that her imagination must really be running wild, being stuck in this retro styled hospital.


End file.
